Passionate preacher, Evangelist and Social crusader, Rev. Dr. Uma Ukpai is now married for 37 years.
He is a father and a husband, where his evangelical success must first be felt.
No matter how busy he is, Uma Ukpai takes time to minister to his family.
In this interview, he says boldly that he’s only quarreled with his wife twice in all these years.
Today, we present you his teaching on how to build a happy marriage.
Enter the man of God
There are things to put into place. Anybody who dreamt of a marriage and got married and found that the wife will not obey his command and got disappointed because she did not obey his command, the man is sick.
The man is an unperformed husband because marriage is a union of two opposites. A man that says stand up and a woman that says why must we stand up. A man who likes garri and a woman who likes rice, a man who likes clothe and a woman who has no interest in clothes.
It is this mixture of two opposites that will give the marriage life and progress.
1. Respect and Celebrate Each Other
My wife knows I’m the husband. She respects me, and reverences me and loves me and helps me fulfill my calling. In turn, I celebrate her because the most expensive thing in life is to marry a pretty girl that wants to be celebrated; they don’t take nonsense. If you don’t want trouble, please celebrate her.
2. Learn to Lose Arguments
You lose to win in marriage.
Even when your wife has wounded or hurt you please don’t emphasize it.
Don’t repeat past issues.
3. Care and Provide
When your wife asks you for money give her more than she asked for. Make sure you put money into her hand even though she has money and do it weekly.
Woman, when your husband is not buoyant, try to understand with him.
4. Appreciate Appearance
When your wife dresses up for service, turn, ponder and celebrate her; don’t just look at her as though you are a muumuu.
Say to her you are gorgeously dressed; you are mesmerizing me greatly.
5. Accept Your In-Laws
Please accept your wife’s relations and her parents particularly; take care of them as you take care of your own parents. If she has a brother invest in that brother, if she has a sister invest in her sister; they will always speak for you because they have eaten your food.
No man eats your food without giving you praise. So make sure you invest in those areas.
And as a woman, don’t wish your Mother-in-law to die. She is your mother. Treat her with respect and care for her like you would your own mum. Accept your husband’s people too.
7. Love and Care for Your Children
As a man, learn to love her children. It’s very confusing that men love women but women celebrate children, they adore children. To a woman it’s a beginning of her unending laughter, so if you want your wife to love you love her children, and take care of them. Send them to good schools and celebrate them.
8. Keep Your Titles and Awards in the Office.
My wife says to me, ‘on the crusade platform you are a big man of God but in this house you are not a big man of God you are just a husband and a father….
“So don’t walk in here as though you are under anointing. The demons stop in the crusade ground, here we are for celebration. So anytime you walk through the door forget whatever exploits you did at the crusade ground; here you are just an ordinary husband; don’t act as a super preacher because the crowd has gone, only we are left.
9. Give Quality Time to Each Other
Romance is simply giving your spouse quality time.
It could be five minutes but quality time.
Inject the element of surprise for each other and make sure you celebrate yourselves.
Keep yourselves informed about where you are, that is what every woman needs.
In this area I’m an expert. I call her several times in one day and we still exchange love letters.
I make sure I have an element of surprise for her, it could be groundnut wrapped in tissue paper. Something that will surprise her.
Women don’t really want money, they want appreciation, they want recognition, they want to be protected.
If a man does not have money he must have a bag of humor. A good man must be able to make his wife laugh five times a day. If a woman laughs five times a day, her blood pressure will be low and she will look younger.